Mister Theolonious Verg esq.
Mister Verg was found under a rock in southern Argentina by Charles Darwin. Mister Verg or 'Theolonious', as he often insists on being addressed, was excluded from Darwin's notable catalogue of flora and fauna due to Mr. Verg's insistent refuting of Darwin's evolutionary theories. Evolution had not taken place, claimed Mr. Verg, and all life had in fact been created by a large and often drunk hamster who had spontaneously manifested himself and was called Jim. After several weeks of discussion the debate between the two great intellects was concluded when Darwin threw Mr. Verg into the southern Atlantic.
Since that time, Mr. Verg has flourished as an entertainer and popular personality (his theories regarding life's origins have sadly enjoyed no such recognition). Among many accomplishments Mr. Verg organised and performed a moderately well-tolerated puppet show on the streets of Toronto, which he called home until he was bundled into a sack by some bearded misanthrope and hauled over to London. His favourite colour is Magenta.
MUMBLES THE CLOWN
Mubles the Clown, who has also been known to refer to himself as 'Clown the Clown' when feeling lazy, is an accomplished entertainer, world traveller and optometrist. Mumbles studied under Jacques LeCoq for sixteen years at the internationally recognised International School of Theatre in Paris. During that time, Mumbles developed many comic and mime routines that were the envy of the other students. His most famous mime act, 'The Sock', was so successful that he actually performed unnoticed as Jacques Lecoq's sock for seventeen months. Upon discovering the truth of the performance, Lecoq famously exclaimed: "Mon Dieu! Il y a un Pitre dans mon pantalon! Au secours! Au secours!"
Since that time, Mumbles has had untold success, touring the entirety of the closet in which he was kept for several decades. A late addition to Mr. Verg's entourage, he recently quipped: "I don't know what I'm doing here and I don't know how to get away. Send Help!" His favourite colour is "Get that microphone out of my face and Send Help!"
GROMLEY THE WIZARD
Gromley wishes to point out that his is, in fact, a retired wizard and has not practiced magic professionally since 1146 AD, according to the rules and regulations set out in the Wizards And Warlocks Trade Union Charter, GCU.
Gromley's true origins are shrouded in mystery and the shredded remains of his official documents. He was recorded performing his remarkable 'Rabbit on Fire in a Hat' trick before the Greek King Agamemnon. Later, during the reign of an Egyptian Pharaoh (whom, his lawyers have informed us, wishes to remain unnamed) he chided the act of another travelling Magician by saying: "Anyone can turn a stick into a snake, you can even get that snake to eat another snake, but can you set that snake on fire?!" Gromley later fled Egypt, pursued by three billion frogs.
Never to admit defeat, Gromley toured with his world famous Cabaret "Things that are on Fire!" for over two thousand years. Notable performances included the Alexandrian Library in 48 BCE., London (UK) in 1666 AD. and Western Europe 1914-1918 AD. After several thousand court orders and a fifteen years spent in the 'Negative Zone', Gromley retired his Fire act, and now plans to write the seventeenth volume of his memoirs, to be entitled "The Pitiable Over-Estimation of Water". His favourite colour is "Red Dreadlocks".